Twilight is not as important as you think it is.

You know, I could say that and be done with this rant right now. However, it’s me and well, I actually like to prove my point. I have facts, unlike most who only rant about nonesense. Let’s talk about the major problems: Mary Sueness, Cliches, and Grammatical Errors.

Bella is a Mary Sue

‘No she’s not!! You’re wrong!! You’re just jealous cause you aren’t pretty like her!!11!!!one’

Hmm… you know, that might work if I didn’t know what else to say or have anything to back me up. Let’s just see what the dictionary has to say, shall we? (Please note though that the definition of a Mary Sue does vary and has become "muddied".)

A Mary Sue (sometimes just Sue), in literary criticism and particularly in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as wish-fulfillment fantasies for their authors or readers. Perhaps the single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly. The author may seem to push how exceptional and wonderful the "Mary Sue" character is on his or her audience, sometimes leading the audience to dislike or even resent the character fairly quickly; such a character could be described as an "author's pet".

A Mary Sue is, in general, without realistic flaws...

Some generally agreed upon facets: she is always stunningly beautiful... and often completely unaware of the fact that all the boys are falling at her feet.  She is generally created for the purpose of getting with/being the True Love of the suethor's favorite canon character. In slashfic or Yaoi, she tends to matchmake the suethor's two favorite canon boys.

A more objective definition of Mary Sue places the it as being any character that involves the author playing blatant favorites, bringing in a large amount of authorial intrusion in order to force the story to favor the character. This is the best definition because it allows everything to be a Mary Sue with enough convincing. As such, this is the favored definition for trolls who are most often Mary Sues themselves.

Basically, Mary Sue is supposed to be unbelievably sweet and innocent, but super sexy, and her only flaw involves woving puppies a widdle too much. Or being the author's favorite character with their "god" bending the world around them. Or both.

This was taken from the wikipedia, the online encyclopedia. However, that's not the only source of information we have for Mary Sues. Let's see what the urban dictionary has to say, shall we?

1. A negative reference to a female character commonly used by beginning writers in their Fan-fiction.

Most times, the "Mary-Sue" is based upon the author. She is unusually perfect and more advanced, also befriends or becomes romantically entangled with the author's favorite character/characters from the series. Because she is more
superior than the other characters in the work, she mainly becomes the focus of the fan-fiction, thus ruining whatever the fan-fiction was about.

As stated above, the name of the character referred to as the "Mary-Sue" does not matter.

2. A female character who is so perfect that she is annoying. The name originated in a very short Star Trek story that mocked the sort of female characters who showed up in fanfiction. It usually refers to original female characters put into fanfiction, but can refer to any character.

Mary-Sues are characters who are usually extraordinarily gorgeous, amazingly talented, unusually powerful, and exceedingly attractive to whoever the author has a crush on. They often possess ridiculously fancy and pretentious first names -- Angel, Raven, Jewel, Lorelei Bianca Julia Marizza Snape -- and are very, very annoying.

Mary-Sue is often abbreviated to 'Sue.' The male equivelant is either Marty-Stu or Gary-Stu.

3. An original character (fem.) in fanfic or an original story, usually on the internet, who is far superior to all other characters. She is typically beautiful, intelligent, kind, and in all other ways "perfect". She usually serves as an important part in a pivotal plot element (ie: a prophecy) and becomes romantically involved with the author's favourite character in the story. The internet fiction world runs rampant with these characters.

Now, I know you want to know how to catch a Mary Sue, or how anyone one can define a Mary Sue. Basically, here are some charactistics of a Mary Sue:

1. Is prettier/more talented than the rest of the cast, regardless of whether or not it's an original piece of fiction or a fan-made piece.

2. Gets all the guys (or girls if it's a guy) and doesn't face the same punishments or drawbacks someone with all of that talent/power would in a realistic setting.

3. If there are any downsides to their lives, it's never of their own making--someone or something else is always responsible. Much drama always ensues around their every coming/going, whether it's praise that they're there or constant 'Poor you,' for their melodramatic background.

4. Have hair/eye colors that are fantastical for the story's setting. This one is more acceptable for fantasy/sci-fi stories and is becoming less and less of a determining characteristic that can be safely relied on, the same becoming moreso now with character names. Different people on different planets, for example, wouldn't have the same given names or maybe even eye/hair colors as someone in this day and age from Earth.

5. Are always showing up to upstage the canon cast; in the cases of original fiction, is always doing something better than someone else without reasonable explanation.

6. Has and does every little thing to grand excess without any flaws and is often (but not always) a 'stand-in' or surrogate character for the author themselves.

So, is Bella Swan a Mary Sue? Let’s see, shall we? Is she beautiful or talented beyond belief? Well, I guess that would depend on who you are asking. Yes, she is described as someone who isn't all that pretty, but isn't it strange that an ugly girl would get so much attention? Is she so sweet and adorable? I would say so considering everyone says so in the book. Wouldn't you agree with me? Gets the main “hot” guy? Hmm... now this one may be a bit tough, but I'm pretty sure that's Edward we're talking about. Am I right Intelligent? Well, if we disregard what Edward said about her being stupid, then yes she is. (Mostly, but that's just me saying that...)

Don’t believe me? When she first arrives in Forks, the first day of school, she already has boys coming up to her wanting to get to know her better. That DOES NOT happen in real life. When moving to a new place, yes people are curious to find out who you are and want to know, but after they realize you aren't new anymore, the feeling seems to die. However, that did NOT seem to happen in Bella's case, as she was still harassed by boys who wanted to date her. Don't believe me?

For the big dance, these said boys ask her first! Because obviously, there aren’t any “pretty” girls there already and she happens to be the best choice for them all. She turns them down and tells them to go to other girls. When does that ever happen? When do you become that popular on your first day of school? WHEN? (If you know, please tell me because I've never seen it happen in any of the schools I've been to. To anyone that I know.)

So, basically, we can assume and justify that Bella Swan is in fact a Mary Sue since she has most if not all the characterstics of a Mary Sue.

Cliches

Just what is a cliché?

Definition:
1. overused expression: a phrase or word that has lost its original effectiveness or power from overuse
2. overused idea: an overused activity or notion

Encyclopedia:
A cliché (from French, pronounced [klɪ'ʃeɪ]) or cliche is a saying, expression or idea which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning, especially when at some earlier time it was considered distinctively meaningful or novel, rendering it a stereotype. The term is likely to be used in a negative context. It is frequently used in modern culture to reference an action or idea which is expected or predictable, based on a prior event.

So, there you have what a cliché is. Now that we know, let's find out if Twilight has any. Hmm... I think Twilight is the only book about a human girl falling in love with a vampire male, right? I mean, it's not like she's the ONLY one who knows what he is though others can't seem to figure it out, right? I mean really, how stupid would a person be NOT to know that? Or even suspect that? They’ve been around the boy longer, right? So they’d know of any changes, wouldn’t they? Yeah, of course! So, it can’t be cliched, right?

Cliches from Urban Dictionary(additional comments by me :D) :

Cliché #1:
The new girl in school who is awkward and clumsy and terrible at everything. How many times have we seen and read this?
(I’m going to guess and say... none?)

Cliché #2:
The new girl falling in love with the hottest guy in school (Edward). No one saw that coming.
(I know I didn’t! I mean, I was shocked as anything! Weren’t you?)

Cliché #3:
Despite the new girl's awkwardness and plain looks, the hottest guy in school falls in love with her. The epitome of originality, am I right? *sarcasm*
(Wow!! How did she EVER come up with that? I have no idea!)

Cliché #4:
The new girl is hopelessly in love with the hottest guy in school to the point where you want to slap her because she'll do literally everything and anything the hottest guy in school will tell her to do just for him.
(I believe she becomes suicidal at one point, right? Or was I just reading that wrong?)

Cliché #5:
The vampire (who is the hottest guy in school), despite his love for the new girl, thirsts for her blood and struggles to control his bloodlust. Wow.
(Hm… I know I didn’t see this one coming! I thought he would have killed her. I honestly did.)

Cliché #6:
The vampire is a good vampire who doesn't want to hurt humans, so he feeds off of animals instead. *cough* Louis from Interview with the Vampire *cough* (I don't know about you, but I seriously thought that was the sweetest thing and most original too!)

Cliché #7:
The vampire thinks he's a monster and that the new girl should stay away from him if she values her life, but of course the new girl risks her life to be with him.
(“If you were smart, you’d stay away from me!” “But Edward, don’t you know? I’m not smart! I’m an idiot who HAS to fall in love with you and risk everything to be with you!”-More or less quoted from book.)

Cliché #8:
The new girl would rather die than not be with the vampire, which is the stupidest thing anyone on this Earth can ever say. Yes, I understand she's madly and hopelessly and stupidly in love with him, but you only get one life. She isn't even considerate of the family members she would leave behind who would mourn her death.
(Of course not, cause her parents are so stupid!! Who cares about them!!)

Basically, I'm getting that pretty much most, if not all, of Twilight is filled with cliches. But then again, I could be wrong...

However, Meyer does add something new to the group! This is the exciting part! Guess what is so original it's beyond any cliche?! Edward-the vampire-sparkles!! Isn't that fun and exciting? Hear that guys, instead of vampires dying in the sun, they just sparkle! And here, I've been reading vampire novels like Dracula wrong all these years.

I think that covers clichés.

Ooh, but this you’ve already heard before, right? And you want something new, right? Of course you do. Who wouldn’t? Let’s talk "grammatical wise" then, shall we? I like this part. ^^ It’s new and different!

Grammatical/Editing Errors

Now, grammar refers to the logical and structural rules that govern the composition of sentences, phrases, and words in any given natural language.

Point Number One:
Mark Twain once said, "Adverbs are the tool of the lazy writer." (If you don’t know who Mark Twain is, stop reading right now.)

Just what does that mean and what are adverbs? Adverbs a word that modifies a verb, an adjective, another adverb, or a sentence, e.g. "happily," "very," or "frankly" What’s so wrong about them? As a good friend of mine whom I respect says:

The reason you're reaching for adverbs to tell the story is because the verbs you've chosen are too weak to do it for you. The adverb isn't the solution, however. Strengthening your writing is.

When you're writing adult fiction, the need to limit -- if not eliminate -- adverbs altogether becomes pretty obvious. What adult wants to read a grade school type of book?

If you're a serious writer, you're not "telling" a story, you're SHOWING a story.
Don't be lazy. Be specific. Use specific nouns and verbs to do the bulk of the work in your writing. By letting good, descriptive words do the heavy lifting, the occasional adjective and adverb aren't the problematic, amateur-flagging beacons common in weak writing. And, by finding better ways to say the things you want to say, you will go from writer, grade-school level, to UBER-writer. If you're still IN school, imagine the stunned look of awe your next creative writing assignment will get when you turn it in with no adverbs and only super-strong, descriptive nouns and verbs punching the reader right in the mouth. Instant "A", kids.

Now here is the big question: Does Stephanie Meyer avoid adverbs? Judging by each chapter, I’m going to say no. Having a story with a couple of adverbs isn’t bad, however, the trouble comes in when you have too many. Does Meyer have too many? Yes she does. She has more on one page than should be allowed in an ENTIRE book. That’s bad.

I understand that being published is a huge thing and can be scary. However, that doesn’t mean one is ignorant or stupid about the situation. There are things as betas and editors around which everyone should invest in if they want to be published. Sadly, I don't think Meyer got that memo and most of her book is filled with adverbs among other things. Good news: I think she’s used every possible adverb there ever was!

Point Number Two:
The most important thing Meyer could use is a thesaurus. And use it right. What makes me say that? She uses the same word over and over and over and over. Get the point? Not yet? Take a look at some of her chapters:

(From Chapter Three)
"So, Miss Swan," Dr. Cullen said in a remarkably appealing voice, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I said, for the last time, I hoped.

He walked to the lightboard on the wall over my head, and turned it on.

"Your X-rays look good," he said. "Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

I don’t know about you, but I hate seeing that many “said”s in one small portion. Okay, so I just hate the word said altogether. But that’s not the point. Point is: there are other was to say “said” without using “said”. Like what? “Screamed” “Murmured” “Sighed” “Mentioned” etc.

Now, now, I'm not saying you can NEVER use the word "said". Just try to limit your usage. Or, instead, describe what the character is doing. Do you have to use words like "murmured" all the time? No. Sometimes, those aren't even called for. It all varies on what you say and how you say it. If all else fails, look for the guide on overused words.

Let’s take another look at something, shall we?

(Chapter Thirteen)

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

Did you count how many times “glitter” or a word like it was mentioned in that small paragraph? I think I’m sick of that word already, and it just started.

Here is where the thesaurus is at the other end. Yes, she does use one. However, it has become too much where all you find is the same word used over and over. How beautiful Edward is, how sparkly he is, etc. Still repetition. (Though she does a good job of hiding it.)

Point Number Three:
Ever notice that the only thing she describes is how “hot” Edward looks? She has no real description skills at all. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the fight. Oh wait, you can’t. Why? Because she can’t write one worth a darn. It really doesn’t take much but practice to write a good or halfway decent fight scene.

Now that I’m done with my rant/essay thing here, many of you are wondering what makes me so special that I would know this? I write. Well, actually. It’s one of the reasons I read Twilight. Many of my watchers as well as those who’ve read some of my own writing said I write like Meyer and I would enjoy Twilight. They, of course, meant it as a compliment since they love the book so much. Naturally, I had to read it. Well… big mistake of my life. Granted, there are some good points-you just have to find them with a microscope. HOWEVER, there is just too much wrong with that book to make it a best seller or to make it a decent book at all.

“But you aren’t a best selling novelist… blah blah blah”

And you know what? That's ok with me. Because I don't want to be a novelist. I just want to write. Just for fun. Just as a hobby. And no, I'm not saying I'm good enough to be a novelist. I don't consider myself even near that point. However, let's not take my word that Meyer isn't good. Let's take the word of a published author.  Whom am I referring to? Stephen King, of course. He-a published writer who pwns anyone-said Meyer can’t write.

To quote King: According to Stephen, "Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."

While Stephen may not be a fan of Stephenie's writing, he understands the appeal of the series.

"People are attracted by the stories, by the pace and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it's very clear that she's writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It's exciting and it's thrilling and it's not particularly threatening because it's not overtly sexual."

He further explains, "A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that's a shorthand for all the feelings that they're not ready to deal with yet."
Well, I think that pretty much sums it up, don’t you?

Now, after all this long essay/rant I am willing to listen to anything and everything you have to say. I want your rebuttal. And I want more than just “OMG! You suck!” Cause that won’t fly with me.